The TDI's User Guide for: Harold
by Winter-Rae
Summary: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a HAROLD unit! In order to obtain maximum enjoyment from your keeper of mad skills please follow the instructions inside.


**Winter-Rae:** Honestly I didn't think these would go over so well. I'm so happy you all liked the Cody one. Now I know a lot of people will want one of these. Get in line my friends. Haha, anyway, enjoy.

* * *

THE USER'S GUIDE AND MANUAL FOR

HAROLD

Copyright Wawanakwa Ltd.

Congratulations!

You are now the proud owner of a HAROLD unit! In order to obtain maximum enjoyment from your keeper of mad skills please follow the instructions below.

**TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS**

NAME: Harold; Full name: Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady the Fifth. Sometimes also referred to as 'String Bean.'

TYPE: Human (male)

MANUFACTURES: Wawanakwa Ltd.

HEIGHT: 5'10

WEIGHT: Roughly 120 lbs

LENGTH: Ahem...Satisfaction guaranteed

COLOUR: red hair and green eyes

**ACCESSORIES:**

Your HAROLD unit comes complete with an accessory pack which should provide you with hours of mutual enjoyment. Units arrive fully dressed in pants, a pink long sleeved shirt, and a blue and green short sleeved shirt via wooden box. Also included are a set of num-yos, a red ant farm, and a keyboard.

Upon receiving your HAROLD it is strongly recommended that you immediately remove his clothes, take off his glasses and then put him into a nice bubble bath. This will keep his moving parts in good condition and fully functional. As your HAROLD has recently been hit over the head by a shovel by the GWEN unit, you may have to climb in with him to ensure that all parts of him are adequately lathered. This procedure should be repeated as needed to ensure that his moving parts are kept well-lubricated and in fine working condition.

NOTE: Committed HAROLD owners should ensure that their significant others are out or have other plans before doing this. Wawanakwa Ltd is not held responsible for any heart breaking breakups or hospital fees due to careless execution of this procedure in the company of a jealous significant other.

For international buyers, Wawanakwa Ltd. accepts no liability for getting your unit through customs

**OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS:**

Your HAROLD unit has been designed to be user friendly and efficient. His controls are voice activated and he will respond to instructions in English. You may also choose to teach him commands in other languages. Since he is very intelligent picking up other languages will be no trouble to his memory banks.

Aside from being both handy and sexy in a red thong, your HAROLD unit has many other uses.

_Beatboxing:_ Your HAROLD, when pressed to impress, those around him will start to beatbox. This is a feature only shown on the HAROLD unit. Other TDI units are unable to match his talent in this area.

_Girl Whispering:_ Are you boys tired of trying to get your dream girl to notice you? Have no fear! Your HAROLD unit knows exactly how to please the ladies. He'll have you hooked up in no time! And ladies, get ready to be swept off your feet since it's well known that HAROLD units should be locked up for your sakes.

_Lock Picking:_ This is a new feature on our HAROLD units, thanks to 'Picky Steve's Lock Pick Camp'. Locked in a safe? Trying to steal from a safe? Well make sure to have your HAROLD with you. NOTE: Wawanakwa assumes no responsibility for any jail time done should you and your HAROLD unit be caught in the act.

_Card Juggling:_ If given a deck of cards, your HAROLD will juggle them for you. But not with his hands, oh no, but with his bum! That's right. Using his mad skills your HAROLD will juggle the cards from one back pocket to the other.

_Martial Arts:_ Getting bullied at school? Well no longer. Your HAROLD comes equipped with over 15 kinds of martial arts. More specifically, give him a set of nunchaku, (included in the accessory pack) and watch him fight off those bullies in order to protect you.

_Dancing:_ As you can see, your HAROLD has more uses than most of the TDI units. Dancing is just one of the many other talents your HAROLD has. He can also serve as a dance instructor. However, his judgement on how well someone can dance isn't to be trusted.

NOTE: Your HAROLD has many other skills that have yet to be determined by Wawanakwa Ltd, since HAROLD units are capable of picking up many skills. Should he reveal any of these other hidden abilities to you, please contact our help desk so that we may update our User Guides.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS:**

You will find that your HAROLD unit is compatible with most of the other TDI units. Especially the LESHAWNA, HEATHER and NOAH units: however the last one is only one-sided. It is recommender to keep your HAROLD away from your DUNCAN and COURTNEY units especially if these two units are together. Unless, of course, the SLASH mode is activated on your HAROLD and DUNCAN units.

**CLEANING:**

Hand washing of the unit is both recommended and enjoyable for the owner. After showering, dry your HAROLD by rubbing him briskly with a large towel. Do not tumble dry. Do not hang him on the washing line, unless you want your neighbours to gossip.

**PRECAUTIONS:**

Do not expose your HAROLD unit to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, excessive humidity, ninjas, shovels, and voting boxes.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:**

**Q:** Why does my HAROLD unit insist on hiding little slips of paper around the house with little poems written on them?

**A:** Has your HAROLD recently come into contact with a LESHAWNA unit? If so he has entered into his SECRET CRUSH mode and will continue to leave the little poems, also called haikus, around. If he has not come into contact with a LESHAWNA unit, he is trying to woo you, why are you complaining?

**Q:** Why does my HAROLD unit insist on cooking in just his underwear? Don't get me wrong, I love the red thong, but should I be concerned?

**A:** Your HAROLD has recently had a run in with a DUNCAN, GEOFF and DJ unit while they are in their 'BULLY' mode. They have stolen all of his pants and underwear. You'll have to purchase more for him, unless you really like him running around in just his shirt, shoes and a thong, then we recommend you do nothing.

**Q:** Why does my HAROLD call me 'm'lady' all the time?

**A:** Congratulations! Your HAROLD has unlocked his CHIVALRY mode. You best be prepared to be waited upon by your HAROLD as he loves to help ladies he's bonded with.

**TROUBLESHOOTING:**

**Problem:** My HAROLD unit keeps switching my important papers around.

**Solution:** Oh dear, your HAROLD is trying to get back at a DUNCAN unit for bullying him. Explain to him that those papers aren't voting ballots and he should stop. Give him a voodoo doll of a DUNCAN unit and he should enjoy that.

**Problem:** Whenever my HAROLD sees a LESHAWNA unit he flexes his non-existent muscles.

**Solution:** Your HAROLD is trying to woo the LESHAWNA unit. Don't worry though; if the LESHAWNA unit is unwilling to date the HAROLD unit anymore you have the chance to mend his broken heart.

**Problem:** My HAROLD unit keeps telling me he's a lone wolf.

**Solution:** HAROLD units are alone by choice; he no doubt has had a conversation with a HEATHER unit recently. We suggest polishing his num-yos, that should make him want to reconsider being alone.

**Problem:** My HAROLD snores something fierce.

**Solution:** It's a medical problem...GOSH!

**FINAL NOTE:**

Should any other problems arise with your HAROLD unit, please contact our help desk. In the case of un-resolvable differences, please return the unit for a complete refund.

Wawanakwa Ltd. accepts no responsibility for any and all legal problems brought about by said unit. All costs for pants, underwear, classes to enhance his mad skills, medical bills, and for keeping the unit in good shape are entirely the owner's responsibility.

We at Wawanakwa Ltd. are sure that you will be very happy with your purchase, and should you follow the above instructions you will have many years of enjoyable service from the HAROLD unit. Remember, a HAROLD is not just for Christmas; a HAROLD is for life. (A message from Wawanakwa Ltd.)

* * *

**Winter-Rae:** Okay so I decided to try and do one for all of the campers, we'll see how I do. Who could be next? Not sure. Who would you guys like to see? Please excuse any mistakes, my dog is having puppies to I posted this between running back and forth from checking on her. Five little ones so far! Thanks for reading, cheers!


End file.
